Sunday, July 10, 2005

Free Baby

The unbelievable things that take place. I was at Panda Express, waiting for a new tray of Orange Chicken, I noticed a woman at one of the tables with a baby in a carriage. Then the woman left her baby on the table to go up and order. The place wasn't that crowded and the only people doing aything were at or behind the counter. I was near a door and only a few feet from the carriage. The layout was such that even from the counter there was a display-thing separating the dining area that shielded the baby from view, preoccupied with the choice of fried rice or chow mein the mother was not even in the line of sight of her child. That's when I thought to myself, "Hey, free baby."

The novelty of absconding with a stolen baby is soon overwhelmed with logistics. I could have taken the whole carrying device by the handle and been out the door with little fanfare, but there is no doubt a woman is going to eventually notice a missing child and cry bloody murder. The area where I was would not need me to stay on the main streets, I could have easily stayed behind buildings and made my way under the 101 to another area of town where I would just be some dude with a kid. Disappearing is slightly more imaginable than what one would actually do with live goods. I recall reading babies on the black market go for around ten large, however since I am not an individual who deals with stolen babies I seriously doubt I could fence one properly. The baby in this dark, fictional scenario has become a liability, as now any proffering of "hey, you need a baby?" in the wake of a public kidnapping is bound to be met with some suspicion.

These are just the random, albeit questionable, thoughts while waiting for Orange Chicken. Since I'd prefer not to have the FBI investigating me I would like to once again point out that I am not an individual who deals with stolen babies. I just happen to notice tears in scociety's fabric. Indeed it would be nice to live in a world where anyone could leave a newborn child unattended at any public space, let alone while still on one's person. In any case I think the real point here is, Mom, please, don't leave your baby on the table.

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