Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Neal Pozner is Dead

Neal J. Pozner, however, is very much alive, and has been for quite some time. Neal's cherubic looks are alarmingly deceitful, as years upon years of drinking only the finest hard liqueurs have sublimated his very blood in to an unnatural alcoholic formaldehyde-- an Aqua Vitae via Tom Collins, if you will. Evidence of Neal's good living can be found in a variety of archival photos, as he's had a lifelong hobby of being photographed with admired icons of the day.

In fact here we see Neal with the nefarious Jack Ruby (and friends), circa November, 1963. Jack had to "step out" for a bit after this photo was taken, tho Neal decided to hang back at the club and vomit repeatedly instead of accompanying him. In retrospect, a wise decision.

This photo from 1978 shows Neal with actor Greg Evigan and Sam the chimpanzee from his time as a gaffer for television's "BJ and the Bear." Rumor has it that Sam's handlers asked Neal to be fired after he was found slipping the wiley chimp small airplane bottles of Jack Daniels. Neal was immediately hired back as producers determined a direct correlation between Neal's presence on set and the chimp's performance.

With so many conflicting photos in circulation, it's next to impossible to determine Mr. Pozner's actual age. And I'm sure that's how he likes it.

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